Understand Myself

At this time of my life, this nineteen words couldn't be more true.

I've never been a confident girl but I'm used to that, I know what I can do and can't. Pisses me off sometimes, really bad, but I kind of accepted it.

But as I'm here, sitting in front of my Mac, everything annoys me and I think why can't I change and be somebody different? Then I say "WTF?! What are yo saying?! Sometimes you're totally cool with who you are and you're fears and all that "deep inside" stuff and other times you are someone really stupid and afraid of what others think and do as long as it's about you! Seriously, who are they?!" 

That voice is all the time in my head saying that but my mind doesn't want to understand or at least pretends not to listen.

So, as you can see, I don't understand myself, I hate that, I hate... I hate myself sometimes for being me. 

I don't know if I should post this or even it makes any sense, but...

xx